✨As a kid growing up, I never thought I wouldn’t become the person I always imagined I’d be when I grew up. And then, I became a teenager. I can’t say this is when boys started to like me, 👀boys always showed their affection. No, this was when I started to seek admiration and affection. I didn’t go about getting what I wanted in a way that screamed DADDY ISSUES. Yet, the patterns and the derailments of those years told me I had some unresolved issues. I wasn’t a teenager mom, I had my first child at 21, prolife. 💸After my decision to keep the baby I was set all the way back to my high school days. I had nothing to show for my self but experience, a baby, and a little over 20k in my checking account. No job, no man, just me and my baby, back home😮💨. The pregnancy ended up putting me on the high risk list during the eight month and after an emergency cesarean recovery suffered rare complications. I didn’t know it then, but I was depleted! Taking care of others has its limits, I didn’t realize that then. Wanting my child to have the best of this and the best of that, making sure of this and making sure of that, being my own good help, and not balancing things. Lucky to already have a house I didn’t pay rent, but that 20k sure didn’t last long. Reality set in, I need a new job!
🧖🏽♀️One day I looked myself in the mirror and I hated what I saw. I hadn’t had self esteem issues since I was a toddler, for the first time I had come full circle. I asked my self, “what happened to that confidence I used to have”. “All that confidence got you pregnant, remember?” I remember blaming my set backs on being attractive and wishing everyone would just leave me alone. My disposition wouldn’t allow me to wallow for long, “I need a job” I told myself again.
👩🏽🍳I started to turned my talents into paid jobs, and before I knew it I was calling myself an entrepreneur honey.
🏠Not having to worry about housing gave me the security of knowing at the very least, our biggest worry would be, What Will We Eat. #foodie
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One day, I said to myself, “This is not it”. Didn’t you go to college for ACTING, didn’t you work day in and day out just to save 20k and move to Hollywood? You always took the necessary risks to make it happen. “Is that all you wanted” I asked myself.